Here Without You
by QueenLorelaiCoffee
Summary: ON HIATUS. She has it all great friends, a fantastic job, a loving fiancee, until one day her path in life is altered forever.
1. I'm Here Without You

**Author's Note: **…and she's back! Wow. I realize I suck at updating my old stories and that they really need to be updated and I promise you they will be updated. Soon, even. I can't give a specific date but oh well. This story was really difficult for me to write and I don't know why I'm going through with it but it… just seems to work. And it keeps me wanting to write so, there you go.

**Summary: **She has her life together, a great job, a loving fiancée, a smart kid and the best friends' anyone could ask for. Until one day, when an accident takes the life of someone she loves deeply, altering her path in life forever.

**Disclaimer: **_While the idea is mine, I do not own the wonderful characters in this story. While at times I may add my own character (you'll know when) I take no credit for them or their world._

Here Without You

Chapter 1

The church smelled of flowers: orchids, roses, daises, and many more. It smelled sweet and lovely, usually a smell associated with happiness, and smiles but the atmosphere could not have been more different. Tears filled more than half of the mourner's eyes, handkerchiefs were being pulled out of pockets and handed to their neighbors, tissues being consumed more and more by the minute.

The whole town was gathered in the tiny church, paying their respects to the one person they looked forward to seeing everyday, the one person they could count on when they needed anything at all. It was a sad day in Stars Hollow, a day that no one would forget anytime soon, especially Lorelai Gilmore. The day they laid their beloved Lucas Danes to rest.

-

She sobbed throughout the entire ceremony, not caring how loud she was being; no one really cared seeing as she wasn't the only one. Clutching a tissue, she leaned against her father, surprising more than one person.

He gladly put a firm arm around his only daughter, holding her tight and held back tears, himself, that fought against him to fall as he listened the words being spoken by the Minister. He hated to see his daughter in pain, and always did. He was a strong man, didn't show his emotions easily but it was hard not to right then and there. He had gotten to know the man that won his daughter's heart, talked with him seriously, putting the incident and the club behind them and started new. Luke earned Richard's respect, unlike most of the men that had been in Lorelai's life. He asked permission to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage, and to Richard that made Luke a brave and noble man, willing to go through anything for the woman he loved.

-

Lorelai fought off another wave of tears as the Ceremony came to a close. She looked over to her daughter who sat in the pew behind her, resting against Logan, her boyfriend. She watched as Rory gave her a sympathetic look and gulped taking the tissue that Logan was reserving for her. Lorelai turned back to the front and sat up straight, just watching.

The concept was so hard to grasp. He wasn't going to be there to help her through all the bad times anymore and he wasn't going to be there to share the good times with. He really wasn't coming back and she had to go through the rest of her life without him, the constant he was supposed to be in her life. Sure there were other people there for her, willing to do anything to make it easier, but in reality nothing could make it easier. Nothing could make the fact that the one person she opened up to in a whole, the one person she trusted her entire life with, was really gone.

Before she knew it, the tears consumed her again and she couldn't stop them. They forced their way out just as someone lead her up out of her seat and down the short isle. The ceremony was over and she could barely recall anything being said, but she knew it was in there somewhere and would come out when it was ready.

-

It was a cold, windy day. Tree branches blew, the air smelled of fall and rain threatened the area. It would hold though, she knew it would.

She sat down on the folding chair in front of the brown casket she picked out with Liz especially for Luke. Liz sat next to her and they leaned on each other while the second half of the funeral took place. Prayers were said, making sure he got to the afterlife, wherever that may be, safely, roses were thrown on top of the gravesite, and it was over. He was in the ground to eternally rest with his father, mother, and Uncle Louie.

A sad smile was shared with Liz as they hugged like they never hugged before. Lorelai and Liz had become close within the year which Lorelai dated her brother. Lorelai found herself attending Renaissance Fairs' with them and playing the part well.

The happy memory brought tears to her eyes as she rode back to the house in a black Limo. Her, Liz, Jess, and TJ. The most mismatched group of people officially all had one thing in common. The loss of someone they cared about greatly.

-

The Wake was to be held at the diner. In a tribute to Luke. Everyone in town crowded into the small diner eating their way through Sookie's food. Soups, breads, vegetables, everything ever imaginable was served.

Lorelai stood outside the diner, looking in. She couldn't face it, she couldn't take all the people staring at her anymore, asking her questions she didn't know the answers to. _What's going to happen to the diner? _being the most popular at the moment.

She looked down at the ring on her finger, the ring he gave to her on the starlit night in August while they were at the beach, taking a break from the world, drinking their cares away.

_-----_

"_It's so beautiful here," Lorelai stated from her position in Luke's arms as they gazed up at the stars from the balcony in which they sat._

_A bottle of wine sat open beside them, more than half-gone, and two plastic cups next to it. Wind blew freely, tickling her face, the scent of salt in the air as the waves danced across the shoreline, making a sea gull jump up in surprise. She smiled contently as she just watched, feeling the hot breath on her face of the man she loved._

"_I love you…" she whispered to him gently, as he started kissing his way along her neck, sending shivers up her spine. They'd been together for a little over a year and this was his present to her, an escape to the beach for the week._

"_I love you, too…" he whispered back, suddenly shifting positions causing her to pout._

"_I was comf-" she started to say when she saw what Luke just pulled out of his pocket. She whispered his name as he slid out from under her and sat in front of her._

"_I love you, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew I loved you from the first time I saw you, only then it was disguised as annoyance and anger…" he said making her giggle at the memory. "We've been together for a year… wait, scratch that. More like nine years and the love just keeps on growing. So… Uh…" he stuttered looking nervous all of a sudden, the old Luke showing through. She smiled encouragingly making him smile. "Will you marry me?" he whispered in the background of the waves._

_She jumped on him, sending him the floor and smiled. Looking into his eyes she nodded and whispered 'Yeah…'_

_-_

"Lorelai, sweetie?" she heard, sending her crashing back to reality. She wanted to stay in the memory, watching how he jumped up with joy and slid the small but antique ring on her finger that once belonged to his mother. She looked over to Sookie who was looking at her with sad eyes.

"Come on, honey, come inside, it's freezing out here." She heard Sookie speak but it was a thousand miles away.

A chilly wind chose that time to sweep by, sending shivers down her spine. Lorelai wrapped her beige coat around her body tightly and she shook with cold, making Sookie grasp her arm and lead her inside.

It was warm inside, sending a burning feeling throughout her body. She felt numb with cold and sadness along with the hot burning as if she were on fire. Sookie took her coat and threw it on a nearby chair. Lorelai found an empty seat at a booth with Liz, TJ, and Jess and sat down, not paying any particular attention to the faces. When Sookie came back with a cup of coffee, she looked up at her.

"Sookie…" she choked out, tears falling, "I'm…" her voice faltered as Sookie sat next to her and embraced her tightly.

Gently she whispered, "I know, honey, I know."


	2. You're Still With Me in My Dreams

**Author's Note: **It's me again, with a short A/N. Thank you so much to the reviewers of the first chapter! I'm glad people are taking the time to read this. And if anyone has any constructive criticism, I'd be glad to hear it. Any thoughts at all on where you'd like this to go, or what to avoid would be a huge help as well. This story was inspired by the songs 'Here Without You' by 3 Doors Down, and 'When I Look to the Sky' by Train. To someone who asked how Luke died, your question should be answered very, very soon.

**Disclaimer:** The characters are in no way mine, they belong to the genius AS-P.

_Here Without You_ _Chapter 2_

_When I look to the sky, something tells me you're here with me, and everything's all right when you are here._

The swing swayed back and forth in the breeze, as she curled herself up on it, wrapped in one of his blankets and an untouched carton of ice cream. It was an odd scene to the people of Stars Hollow; the crazy, outgoing Lorelai sitting quietly on a swing on a chilly evening without eating the ice cream in front of her. They were worried, every last one of them, but were afraid to confront her. She didn't like being spoken to, directly or indirectly. It was too hard.

Brightly colored leaves fell one-by-one from their branches, their home. Once they fell there was no going back, no way to find themselves back on top again. Lost and forgotten for an eternity. She watched as if in a trance, silently counting them as they hit the ground. A shiver ran through her body as the breeze blew through her. Icy coldness filled her as she felt the tears return to her eyes. Angrily she wiped the tears away. She didn't want to cry anymore. She didn't want to feel anything anymore. She wanted to wrap herself up in the blanket that smelled of him and forget everything that happened in the past week. Forget it all ever happened.

It was just so… unexpected. Every last part of it. The accident, the surgery that the doctor's promised was safe, seeing the doctor walk towards her and their family, his sad, gloomy face as he gave the speech he was accustomed to. But she couldn't remember any more after that. It was all a blank until she awoke on one of the hospital chairs, being told she had passed out.

She sighed as she shook her head, ridding it of the memory. She couldn't help but think that it should have been her, she should have been the one with all the injuries, the severe damage; but instead she was left with a few bumps and bruises, nothing major.

_They were bickering; _she remembered_, over something small, something stupid. They were on their way home from Friday Night Dinner when the rain started pelting against the windshield. So hard to see, people were slowing down, puddles were forming rapidly, but then appeared that one car. The one car that was speeding in the rain and had their high beams on, causing Luke to swerve. She remembered screaming, grabbing onto Luke's hand with her own, putting the other on the wheel to try and steady the car, but it was too late, they were off the road and heading towards the small ditch that had formed over time. Then she was out, only awakening to the sound of someone, very far away, calling her name, and telling her to wake up._

The sun was setting, colors cascading across the sky: pinks, yellows, and purples. A beautiful sight to see on a fall evening as beautiful it was. Tears were filling in her eyes again as she watched it, leaning back into the swing, looking out over the lawn. She smiled slightly, remembering the last time that she saw a sunset as beautiful as that moment.

_The gentle swish of the river calmed her as she sat on the porch steps, leaning up against Luke's arm. Tree's surrounded them, the smell of summer in the air. It was like there was more oxygen up in the mountains than there was back home, more space to breathe and relax. That's what it was too, relaxing._

_She understood why he took the fishing trips up in his cabin when something bad happened or when he needed a break. It was his Oasis, his place to just sit back and be a carefree Luke Danes, one that she hadn't gotten to know until he invited her with him._

_At first she declined, saying that fishing wasn't her thing, it was his. But that Luke Danes could sure be persistent, and finally got her to cave after promising her she wouldn't have to spend any time fishing if she chose not too._

_Sunset time rolled around again, and it took her breath away. It was more beautiful than any back in Stars Hollow and she found herself being consumed in the deep colors of the sky, the way they blended together._

_Luke smiled as she turned to face him. She shook her head._

"_You've been holding back on me, mister. All these years, this is what you come too! This! Who knew that Luke Danes had a spot for sun-sets."_

"_You like this? Wait until sun rise comes, its just as beautiful, if not more," he retorted with a small grin, something he'd been doing a lot of lately._

"_You expect me to wake up in time for sun rise? And all this time I thought you knew me!" She gasped playfully, smacking him lightly on the arm as he pulled her closer to him, so her back was resting against his stomach._

"_You're right, I'm sorry…" he said softly, rolling his eyes, knowing he made a mistake._

"_What did you say, Luke? Did you just say I was-" she gasped, her eyes lighting up as she turned in his arms._

"_Right? Yes, I did. Don't act so shocked," he said with a smile but before she could reply he pulled her into a kiss, something she couldn't refuse. She sighed contently as he whispered, "What time do you want your wake up call, Miss Gilmore?"_

"_Does it really matter, Mr. Danes?" she whispered back, staring into his eyes as he pulled her down on top of him, kissing her intensely._

Lorelai woke up from the dream that felt so real and looked around, startled. It was like she was thrown back into the past and relived that very moment, a happy moment between herself and Luke.

She pouted slightly and she wiped her eyes on the blanket, looking across the lawn to see Babette looking at her through the kitchen window. As soon as Lorelai caught her eye, she turned away, retreating into the next room. Presumably going off to call Miss Patty with Lorelai's whereabouts.

She couldn't take it; the staring, the whispers. It was like she didn't have any privacy and she hated that. Before, she loved that about the town; everyone knew everything about each other. That's what made the town so close, so special. But now, it was a nuisance.

Lorelai finally got up and quietly walked into the house, as not to wake Rory. Rory had decided to stay over for a few nights and Lorelai happily agreed, until one day she found Rory wasn't alone in her room. In the state that she was, mother started fight with daughter and all hell broke loose. In the end, Rory and Logan stormed out of the house, Rory returning a few hours later with an apology. They snuggled up on the couch like old times and watched a movie until both fell asleep. Only thing was that it wasn't like old times. Things were different, and Lorelai had no clue how to fix them.


End file.
